http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000621/?ref_=tt_trv_qu Jack Burton: When some wild-eyed, eight-foot-tall maniac grabs your neck, taps the back of your favorite head up against the barroom wall, and he looks you crooked in the eye and he asks you if ya paid your dues, you just stare that big sucker right back in the eye, and you remember what ol’ Jack Burton always says at a time like that: “Have ya paid your dues, Jack?” “Yessir, the check is in the mail.”…Russ

There are two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it  –  Oscar Wilde

“People mean well, but sometimes you just have to, you know, pepper spray people in the eyes.”

Felix, you were the first person I thought of when I read this, so I wasn’t surprised to see that it actually came from you.[:D]
I have no one specific favorite quote; there are just too many good ones from which to choose.  Although I’m partial to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lf3mgmEdfwg “As God as my witness, I thought turkeys could fly.”
 
And pretty much anything that Sheriff Buford T. Justice ever said.[;)]

If you only have a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail.
Abraham Maslow
 
You’ve got to crack a few eggs to make an omelet. 
Somebody

Success is getting what you want.
Happiness is wanting what you get.

[8D]

“The American Republic will endure until the day Congress discovers that it can bribe the public with the public’s money“.
 
— Alexis de Tocqueville 

Everybody has a plan until they get punched in the mouth.

People will rise to the lowest level of expectation!

Feel free to get all those nice ones out of your system…now.

I have two favorite fun ones:
 
 He that but looketh on a plate of ham and eggs to lust after it hath already committed breakfast with it in his heart – C.S. Lewis

 A hot dog at the ballgame beats roast beef at the Ritz.” Humphrey Bogart
——————
Don’t get me started on the inspirational/motivational ones–I have pages of those.

Italian girls make the cutest girlfriends…the best friends…and the worst enemies.

Live each day like it’s your last because one day you’ll be right

Everybody seems normal until you get to know them

“People mean well, but sometimes you just have to, you know, pepper spray people in the eyes.”

“A woman has the age she deserves.”

Amen…Coco Chanel.