Ooh, I forgot one:

Since offerring guests enough food and drink that they’re in danger of imminent rupture is the Prime Directive for hostesses, one will often be in the position of offerring seconds, thirds or…

THE MOST IMPORTANT thing about such offerrings is to *never have any indication that you’re keeping track*. Thus, it’s "Would you care for some pie?" rather than "Would you care for some more pie" or "Would you care for a second piece of pie". This form of feigned amnesia is *particularly* important when dealing with Women Of A Certain Age, who wouldn’t *DREAM* of having a second piece of pie, but would feel awkward turning down "some pie".

Eric

quote:

Originally posted by Sundancer7

I use a knife and fork with my fried chicken simply because I do not like to get messy fingers. Even if you have a napkin, you cannot get your fingers clean and you will always get grease stains on your clothing, brief case, papers, cell phone, car and etc.

Paul E. Smith

You can get them clean with that ultimate sanitation aid, "mamaspit" applied with a napkin. One could use one’s own, but that would be tacky.

with so many family members in the food business we learned all the normal "Manners" and service rules but what really remember where the cutural"rules" that came along with this crazy bunch of Italians—
1. NEVER turn down food offered to you in someone elses home–no matter how strange looking or sounding it may ba—this led me to the discovery of 1000,s of wonderfull treats as we tended to hang in very ethnic neighborhoods and we aye all the time!
2. Its a MORTAL sin not to know how to cook!!!!!
3 When invited to dinner—bring dessert–oer wine–or flowers—NEVER show up empty handed!
and lastly—-when a guest belches—thank him and ask if hes got room now for another slice of pie!!!

quote:

Originally posted by Sundancer7

Mom taught me something that I believe is a mistake. She always said when we left food on the plate that children in China were starving and we should clean our plate. That led to something that I have been fighting my entire life is being overweight.

Paul –

Me too. To this day I *have* to clean my plate, even if I’m not hungry. One time my dad used this Chinese children line, I shot back: "Then why don’t you send this to them?" and I got sent to my room.

The whole guilt thing around eating everything is something that I’m not going to repeat with my daughter.

OK…I’m still catching up on posting from when I was on vacation in the Outer Banks…..

My mother, rest her compulsive Kentucky soul:

[:(!]Always insisted that you should never, ever be the first in line for food at a party. She never explained what would happen if everyone declined to be first. This caused me some awkwardness when I worked at a small college where everybody got a birthday luncheon thrown for them and you were supposed to eat first. Couldn’t do it. Not even once in the six years I was there.

[:(!]Insisted that Wine was not the main beverage to be drunk with the meal. That was for iced tea or milk. Wine was sort of the "side dish" of the beverage world…So when we had wine with dinner, as she began to drink a little wine "for my health", the wineglass went to the right of the "real" beverage glass. Try finding THAT one in your Emily Post.

[:(!]Repeatedly put forth her strongly held notion that nobody should ever, ever….ever, ever, ever….ever….everevereverever eat strongly scented cheeses, particularly Parmesan or any of the blue cheeses. This also applied to garlic, which was the absolute "thou shalt not" of her culinary oeuvre. (This was also the woman who loved green onions raw, when in season……ah well. Our family has never been big on consistency.)

When I was in my twenties, I spent a good deal of my time breaking this rule; still do. And she would greet me with lowered brows, a sniff of the air, and an immediate identification of what I had eaten the night before. But Mom wanted a daughter-in-law, and worried that the smell would drive away any likely candidates. Fortunately, I found a wife who loves this stuff as much as I do.

quote:

Originally posted by CCJPO

FHB – Family Hold Back. When we would have unexpected company for supper, my mom or dad would say FHB. It meant that the kids shouldn’t eat much, so that the guests would have enough to eat. We would then get peanut butter sandwiches later to fill us up.

One of Justin Wilson’s last books said his Mama did the same thing. But if there was plenty, she’d say "MIK": More in Kitchen

quote:

Originally posted by EliseT

Don’t ever take the last of anything…EVER.

You have not done your duty as a hostess until people are so stuffed they can’t move…then you bring out the dessert.

Oh my GOSH…..Me too…..To this day, I am incapable of eating the last of anything, even though my wife and son are the only other people who live here. Golly–it just occurred to me that I don’t often take the last if I’m HOME ALONE…..AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGH!!!

That reminds me of a story perhaps a little off topic…the priest in my mother’s farm town survived solely on meals provided by the local families. He would sit up on the hill and spy through the window until her family was just sitting down to dinner and suddenly show up uninvited. This left them no choice but to just grab another plate and chair. If they knew he was coming they would have killed a chicken, and he knew they could ill afford it.

Let me assure you, there is much fried chicken eaten with knives and forks in parts of the South. Besides, if you eat it with your fingers, you’ll get grease all over the napkins. (You *do* use cloth napkins, right?)

Eric

Huh, I can safely say that I have never seen anyone eat fried chicken with a fork and I have seen alot of people eat fried chicken. I am sure some people do it, but no one who I know. And as far as social class differential in the fork/no fork argument, it doesn’t matter. As far as serving fried chicken to company, it has been the main Sunday sit down meal in the deep south forever. If you invite the minister over for Sunday after Meeting dinner, he is looking for chicken (along with peas or butterbeans, rice and gravy, maybe squash casserole, and rolls (not bisquits, they are for breakfast) with butter and jelly (mayhaw if ya got it, please, peach or blackberry in the summer). And yes, chances are he will be using your mama’s good cloth napkins. Using paper would not only be tacky, but it would also indicate the economic status in your household might be lacking.[:D]

We went thru the detailed learning process in our youth…but it seems that more than half (or more) of our meals are not "at the table" anymore. Hard to uphold the "Mother’s Standard’s" when one is yelling at the TV during the evening meal (and news) !!

My mother never taught me any manners. This leads to many fights with my wife. Some day I will learn.

Mom taught me early on never to touch rest room door knobs, rest room fixtures and rest room water dispensors at the sink. She insisted that I always use paper towels.

I did not understand until I was in a microbiology class at the University of Tennessee. The prof insisted that we go to the rest room in the student center and culture door knobs, rest room toilets, water dispensors at the sinks.

Guess what?

Each came back and identified by all of us heavily contaminated by E Coli. This is evidenced by the high percentage of the people who do not wash their hands after rest room usage. When you do wash your hands without proper technique, you often leave the rest room more contaiminated than when you came in.

Paul E. Smith
Knoxville, TN

I use a knife and fork with my fried chicken simply because I do not like to get messy fingers. Even if you have a napkin, you cannot get your fingers clean and you will always get grease stains on your clothing, brief case, papers, cell phone, car and etc.

Paul E. Smith

Glenn:

Let me assure you, there is much fried chicken eaten with knives and forks in parts of the South. Besides, if you eat it with your fingers, you’ll get grease all over the napkins. (You *do* use cloth napkins, right?)

Eric