WACKY PACKAGES FAST FOODS:
Kentucky Fried Fingers
Donkey Nose Pizza
Jerk in the Box
Chaos, we cater to families with unattended children.
Kentucky Horse BBQ
"Slow smoked with the finest tobacco"
The Full Diaper Delight
Sammy’s Dog Doo Sammies
Terry’s Tooth Tartare
Snuffy’s Sniff This
Orca Ice Cream
Tubby’s Toe Cheese Sundae’s
Fartatoes…If you can get past the smell, the food stinks
The Rotten Egg
The Used Food Shop
Nose boogies in Paradise.
Big Bob’s Gobs o’ Gristle
Cap’n Moby’s Fried Fishlike Fillets
Slugs ‘n’ Stuff
Nothin’ But Nutria
International House of Brains
Placenta Johnson’s Sushi Palace
Flaming Chicken Surprise
salmonella chicken carryout … try our new H5N1 sauce!
Mrs. O’Leary’s Mad Cow Barn
Voted best charburgers in Chicago!
Cowburger Hungry says: "When the hungries hit, hit the Mad Cow!"
Pre Chewed Charlies.
Burgers Sold By A Sweaty Clown
Real Pit Tofurkey House.
Vegantogetmeouttaherely, Ort. Carlton in Compounded Athens, Georgia.
Another fast food place that will never exist: Deseret Coffee House.
I’ll come up with another one directly. Stay tuned.
Decaffienatedly (I’m Not Drinking Any Right Now), Ort. Carlton in Speedy Enough Athens, Georgia.
They tell me that it’s Jittery Joe’s Special Mama’s Boy Blend. It’s akin to the comment in Garfield last Monday (the 15th.): "Good coffee," Jim the cartoonist says in the first panel. "Goooood coffee!" he says in the second. By the third panel, he simply starts "Goooooooooooooo…" and it runs off the edge of the panel. This is Panel Three Coffee. Yum. Slurp.
I wish I had a cup right now.
Caffeinitively, Ort. Carlton in Anything But Steaming Athens, Georgia.
P. S. Jittery Joe’s is our local micro-roastery. They do a goooood job.
P. P. S. My great-grandfather Marion G. Carlton (1852-1939) used to "sasser-and-blow" his coffee. Sadly, I never quite mastered his technique. Nor does Mama’s Boy use saucers… except maybe flying ones.
OK Ort., So you are not putting anything in your coffee. It must be the bean. Just what flavor are you consumeing? Chow Jim
Tigua Chile To Go. (The Green variety is sold in lidded zinc-lined buckets for easy transport. They tried a variety of paper and plastic containers, but the stuff dissolved them before it could be carried very far. Gad, what a mess it made!)
Without Reservations, Ort. Carlton in Native-American-shy Athens, Georgia.
Deep fried frog eardrums?
Riveted To The Topic, Ort. Carlton in Athens, Georgia, which is about 175 miles from Frogmore, South Carolina 29920.
P. S. With all the frogs deaf, they will obviously croak far louder. This is why they only take eardrums from female frogs; the din from non-hearing bullfrogs would be akin to the blast noise of atomic testing and would activate seismometers for miles around.
Dear Lord, do I have a perverse imagination….
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