Given the name of the place and its motto, “Trailer Park to Table,” it isn’t hard to figure out that Biscuit Bitch cultivates attitude. “It’s your choice, bitch!” the menu challenges in regards to a selection of gravies that include country sausage, vegetarian, and gluten-free shiitake mushroom.
Vividly peppery and crowded with crumbled sausage, country sausage gravy is hardly trailer park cuisine. It is a poised kitchen masterpiece, perhaps best savored in the Straight-Up Bitch, which is simply a gravy-topped split biscuit. Fancier presentations include a Hot Mess Bitch, which includes eggs, garlic grits, cheese, a hot link, and jalapeno peppers; a Smokin’ Hot Seattle Bitch, for which the biscuit is topped with a hot link, cream cheese, and grilled onion; and a Cheesy Pork N’ Bitch featuring bacon and melted cheddar cheese.
Gravy frowners can order a Bitchwitch, which is the kitchen’s gloss on a breakfast sandwich: egg, cheese, a choice of sausage, Spam, or bacon, plus a measure of house made Bitchy Sauce. The sauce, a sort of tomato-pink aioli with eye-opening kick, is a great complement for biscuits that are dense and dry enough to demand some kind of lubricant – if not gravy, then Bitchy Sauce.
The menu at Biscuit Bitch is strictly breakfast (it closes mid-afternoon). Those in need of something sweet can order a Nutty Bitch made with Nutella, banana, and whipped cream, a Buttered Up Bitch (butter and jam or maple peanut butter) or, on occasion, a classic strawberry shortcake biscuit with whipped cream. Coffee is known as Bitch Blend, roasted by Seattle’s 7 Roasters, and it is kick-ass good.
Notes: A limited number of gluten-free biscuits are available each day. Other Biscuit Bitches are located at 1909 1st Ave. and 621 3rd Ave.