I thought you did good Field! Made me wana try some cloth bologna. And your Poppa and the sardines, I thought everyone eats them that way untill I read the sardine thread here.
My bro eats his chili on a saltine, not one bite thats not on a cracker! Drives me crazzzzy.
One of my favs is a saltine w/ a good pepper jack cheese w/ a slice of peperoni on top, nuke it for a few seconds. I make a whole plate of em. The cheese and meat combinations are endless. You can freshen up kinda stale satiines in the micro also.
A smoked oyster, sour cream, and a nacho sliced jalapeno. You gota eat it in one bite!
Oh ashphalt, sometimes I just butter em and put em under he broiler until they just start to turn brown and crispy, mmmm.