Hot Dog Haven in South Berwick, Maine…

On a well planned family vacation to the rugged outdoors of northern Maine our family made the mistake of visiting this poor excuse for a dining establishment. To create a background, imagine driving through the poorest projects (i.e. Roxbury) and stumble upon what seemed to be an abandonded crack house. To our surprise some incomptent health inspector decided to liscence this place to serve food. If it were up to I we would have kept driving FAST by, but three screaming children mad it apparent we were eating there. As we pull in and park we make sure to lock the doors and double check that the lo-jack was in operating order; anything to keep the white trash from jacking my stereo.

We enter the, uhm… "restraunt." After passing through the threshhold the afore mentioned "crack house" should be now described as a meth lab due to the overwhelming stench of aids and spicy mustard. The owner a John Elton-eque character startled us with a, "Hey Boys, welcome to Heaven!" Disgusted we rushed an order of his signature dog, the O’Henry.

10 O’henry dogs should have been served with-in minutes, but this in-bread local managed to not only screw up the order he also served red casing hot dogs after we specificaly told him I was alergic to red dye #30. Feeling bad that his mortgage payment relied solely on our order we decided to wait out another 10 minutes for him to correct the order… BIG MISTAKE!

Upon biting into the dry wrinkled tube shaped meat I knew I was going to spend my entire vacation with the tip of my nose touching the water level of a toilet. He may say he is copying Flo’s (I won’t get into how "homo" that is), but the sauce reminded of my younger days when I was paid 5 dollars to drink a concotion created by my schoolmates consisting of old milk, urine, and coffee grinds. Well worth the 5 bucks I earned, but I could not stoumach this "Flo’s sauce."

I’m not going to go in depth to the beating our bodies recieved, but it did require numerous stops to the bathroom and all, but ruined our vacation. If I ever see this O’Henry fellow again I will give him a piece of my mind.

Cliff Notes: Hot Dog Heaven SUCKS!!! [xx(]