Oh, you guys are making my stomache hurt laughing! Yeah, I once "fell asleep" (with the help of a few beers) with pork chops in the broiler. It was so strange when I opened the broiler the next morning and there sat 2 perfectly good chops…not burnt at all. I stuck my fork in one and it immediately disintegrated into pork powder, bone and all.

My friend told me one of my favorite stories…his dad had just gotten a pressure cooker and my friend came home from school to find beans all over the ceiling and walls. In the back yard he found his father, silently glaring straight ahead. He was in his boxers and his entire body was covered with tiny red bean-shaped burns. I asked my friend what he did. He said, "I very silently tiptoed out of there and slept over at my best friend’s house."