Oh yeah, I forgot the note below. What was the note below anyway? I forgot. Something to do with the Constitution. Oh yeah, badges and guns being the "authority necessary to enact the law". Well, I have a badge, it’s a private security badge. And I have a gun. Several actually. Does this empower me under law to collect my own taxes from the people? I’m not exactly sure what I would tax you for, I’m willing to share what oxygen is available and as to water to drink, why, we can share that too. Heck, if you are a dollar short at my stand, don’t sweat it, get me back next time. I don’t want anybody walking away hungry from OzDogs. And you are alredy getting taxed on everything else I can think of. The state done beat me to it. All the fat is gone from this chop.
But I guess as far as the law is concerned I get to tax you. So what should it be? Or is having to read what I write taxing enough?
Tell you what, we’ll call it even. How about that? Or how about I tax you for talking to me? That’s the ticket. Anyone who replies to me get taxed. Now what shall I tax you? I know what. I shall tax thee a spoonfull of cottage cheese. Or, you may honor my tax by….um….allowing the kid to dye their hair some stupid color. That will satisfy my requirements of taxation.
Now should this prove too odious to your sensibilities, I will furnish an alternative. 10 pushups and 10 situps a day. Anything less and I’m short-changing both of us. Do you people know what you look like in bathing suits?