I think it is difficult for some people to comprehend that when people in different parts of the country call "grilling" as BBQ that they mean no offense. Where I was brought up, when someone invited you over for a barbeque, it was food done on the grill and it was delcious and everyone was happy. It is just a general term. For example, I have heard some people say that they are having baked beans for dinner. Then they open a can of "so called baked beans" and heat them. That is not what I call baked beans but so what? To some areas of the country "grens" for dinner means long cooked greens such as collards. In other parts of the country. greens are usually served in the form of a fresh salad.
I do not get hung up on regional differences in what one calls something.[8D]
In NC if you invite someone to a bbq it had better be pork cooked low and slow and not dome California grill fest. "We’re grilling steaks" is ok but in the South BBQ is a product not a procedure. Maybe saying " we’re bbqing some shoulders (pork of course) is acceptable but I’ve never heard it. Here we say "BBQ will be ready at three and beer at one"